A Friday Belt - Bing, Bitters & Braces

Been doing a lot of walking and not much drinking in the last six weeks.  Consequently,  pounds have shed away but that's not why I'm walking and not drinking…so much.  Much of it has to do with health -- the drinking.  Some of it has to do with work -- the walking.  However it happened, I made several discoveries:  Lowa approach boots being the walking bit with Bing being the not-drinking bit.

A can of Bing can keep me going for four hours and five miles.  I kid you not.  It helps to like blackberries - And I love blackberries. At only 40 calories and 8g of carbs,  it's got a bite and a wild tartness that will keep the kids away. Which is good news at roughly $2 a can.  Last week I saw Fee Cranberry bitters and immediately thought of adding it to Bing.  It's amazing.  Four healthy shakes of  Fee, since I'm such a bitter man, and I swear there's vodka in there.  

And since the Friday belt - sans hooch - can't include a belt, I dug out the Reindeer braces. In the seven or so years I've owned them, they've been worn to three Christmas parties where they stayed under a jacket.  No one knew about them  -- but I knew they were there… just like low back pain. If you see a grimace - offer me a drink.

Cutty Sark - Not Just for the Big Girl's Blouse

Cutty Sark by F.M. Tinseth, oil on canvas, 1976

Cutty Sark in Flagler College dorm room, 1983

Cutty Sark in September Esquire, 1961

Rare Cutty Sark tie on even rarer yellow university stripe oxford, 2013

Cutty Sark by A. J. Tinseth, 2013

My old man was very proud of his Cutty Sark.  His painting...not the Scotch. He was a gin martini  man through and through and Beefeater gin was his go to.  I don't ever remember him drinking anything else except beer, of which he gave no brand his loyalty, or the occasional glass of wine, which, if he knew anything, he learned from me.

His Cutty Sark painting was about an image - he knew - was instantly recognizable...at least by himself and his peers in the officer's clubs he frequented. My connection to Cutty Sark is through Berry Brothers and Rudd.  A wine merchant in the Pall Mall area of London, I was first introduced to the 300 year old merchant via their catalogs a London friend, Vodka Ronnie, kept by his toilet.  Not the most glorious of beginnings but Vodka Ronnie had very good taste in wine.

Barry & Rudd, as it's more commonly known, came up with the idea for a light blended Scotch as they were wine merchants and I assume didn't want to blow their customer's palettes outta the water with a double barrel Islay. Their target customer were Septics (Septic Tank- Yank) who were about to get back into Rub a Dubs (Rub a Dub- Pub) as Prohibition was coming to an end. With the Septic in mind, a 20 single malt blend was used with mostly Big Girl's Blouse Speyside (Glenrothes) being the predominant malt.

"Whis-KAY" as it's pronounced over there also sounds a lot like "Cut-TAY."  When I hear one, I think of the other.  I'm not sure why.  It's a Lemmon-NAY Whis-KAY.  Light and dry and being that it's not too dear, I think it's best to be mixed, which I did, with a $20 bottle. I  tried it with Polar Bitter Lemon (find it - far better than Canada Dry) and it wasn't bad. I mixed it with lemon flavored seltzer and thought it completely changed the Cutty with the soda giving it a rounder and fuller taste of a scotch double the price. Impressive for those like me who are mean when it comes to their Whis-KAY.

I used it to make a Side Car replacing the brandy with Cutty -- A favorite of the tasting and something I look forward to ordering in a Rub a Dub, "Make mine a Cut-TAY side car, To-NAY." If you're thinking a Manhattan -- I wouldn't -- Although I did.  There's just not enough backbone to the Cutty. Having said that, if you're a beginning Scotch drinker, this is the tricycle for you, in much the way Barry & Rudd always intended it to be, even if you are a big girl's blouse; I wear a 14.

Manhattan MILF

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The Friday Belt: Corked on Mezcal

Vida Mezcal ($36) from Del Maguey

El Bebida:
There wasn't a worm in the bottle and I didn't get stinking drunk and wind up with a dead donkey in a ditch. Although, it could've happened. Vida ($36) is considered entry level Mezcal.  I consider it a huge value. Firstly, I like that Mezcal is smokey. If you like Islay single malt or back bacon or smoked almonds or Lapsang Souchong tea, this, my friend, is the stuff for you... and most certainly for me. It's like drinking a Cuban cigar.

Two - I discovered Mescal only recently -- It was about the time I started pissing everyone off. Kidding.  I've been pissing off folks for years. I saw John Huston's 'Under the Volcano' and was both terrified and awed  (Awed is such a better word than awesome) by the main character, a complete pile of whale shit played by Albert Finney. As we used to say in the Airborne, "Nothing's lower than whale shit."

Three- Because of the single malt smokiness, I tried Mezcal as a Rob Roy.  Didn't work. I also tried it with  Campari, sweet and dry vermouth and too many tequlla recepies to mention.  I think it's best sipped straight with a big plate of Puerco Pibil and a couple beers as a chaser. Keep your consumption to that and you'll be awarded with increased clarity of vision.  Drink too much and you'll wind up in a ditch with a donkey.




"A dish so good, you might get wacked just for making it." Robert Rodriguez

Cork belt ($40) from Cork Design

El Cinturón:

As a kid living in El Paso, my family would go into Juarez all the time. This was long before it turned into a war zone. I remember eating tacos from street vendors.  Hand made corn tortillas, beef, cilantro, diced raw onion and a squeeze of lime juice.  That was it and it still is.

I remember the Mexican men wearing belts that were cowboy in origin and the leather was always a light tan. These belts were a real contrast against blue jeans. Many miles from Juarez, a couple ladies in Fernandina Beach, FL are making belts and lots of other stuff outta cork.  I love the color of cork and this belt takes me back to those days in Juarez.  I'm gonna suggest they look at making a belt with a detachable buckle.  That would open up all kinds of possibilities.

It's nice to know cork is fire resistant 'cause if you drink enough Vida Mezcal your belt might catch on fire...

The Friday Belt: Monkey Shoulder Scotch & Jaws

I had been hearing a lot about a blended malt whisky called Monkey Shoulder -- available only in the U.K. and blended from Glenfiddich, Balvenie and Kininvie, it's a lower priced Scotch but considered a huge value for what it is. Tony Sylvester brought my first bottle on a visit to the US although it may, if not already, be available in the U.S. Look for it.



Bonobos gave me a needlepoint belt with a scene from Jaws. While photographing this Friday Belt, I noticed how thin the belt, made by Tucker Blair was and turned it on it's side. The leather backing seemed much thicker than the actual needlepoint.



For comparison, I yanked a J McLaughlin belt off the Corby Press and was surprised by the contrast. Only a thin backing to thick needlepoint. I won't comment on the quality of leather, stitching and overall workmanship. The Bonobos/Tucker Blair belt retails for $95 while J Mac's belt retailed for $195. Contrary to Tucker's description, "Really awesome" it's not. Of course, people today use "Awesome" to describe tap water so it's all relative.



Which is why J Mac no longer offers a needlepoint belt. I wrote a lot about their belts here. That's price competition for you and I suppose that's what consumers want. The best price. For 22 years, my clients put me in a tight pair of shoes and would laugh as they'd ratchet me down. That's what I want when I buy a blended single malt Scotch. Monkey Shoulder is $30 versus Johnnie Walker Blue Label at $200.



Actually, I'd like a Monkey Wrench better than JW Blue. But who am I -- It does makes me wonder. Are the same people who'll drop $200 for a mediocre Scotch, the same people who'd pick a mediocre needlepoint over something of obvious quality? What are your thoughts? The best comment- pro or con - get's the belt. Size 38. Never been worn. It's really...that, "A" word.

Friday Belt: Chardonnay & Drill Sgt. Hunt

Bramito del Cervo - $20

Eatlay Restaurant, NYC, 2012
Ah, Mr Tinsetta...so good to see you again. Ess cold out, no? I like'a that coat. Here, let me take that'a for yooo... We have'a today some wonderful feesh specials but I suggest the bruschetta with shrimps grilled in a' Limoncello and garlic to'a start. I have a very nice and'a reasonable Char-doe-nayy from Ooombria to go with it. You'a can't beat the price and it's from the same Antinori vineyard, Della Sala, you know - where your favorite, Cervaro comes from...It's not Cervaro but'a -- I like to say it's close for'a half the mooney...



Fatigue Web Belt - Four Years Active, Two Years Inactive

Ft Jackson, SC 1976
Tinset, you red faced maggot. If you're brains were gasoline -- there wouldn't be enough to run a piss-ant motorcycle half way 'round a fucking dime. Don't call me, sir. I work for a living. Did you know you move like old people fuck? Did'ga know that? Do you like me Tinset? You do?! Well, liken leads to lovin' and lovin' leads to fuckin' and you ain't fuckin' me, Tinset. I will guarantee you this... any trouble your sorry ass ever had sleeping will dis-A-fucking-ppear here. If I turned your brains into cotton there wouldn't be enough for a piss-ant Kotex...You think you could sound off with your general orders like you got a pair?

Friday Belt: Teach Me

There's been talk about Teacher's Highland Cream -- That it's losing its stuff. An economical blend, better than most Johnny Walking's, it's rich, creamy and very smooth. At $17 a bottle, you can mix anything with it and sip away without any guilt of screwing up good hooch -- although I'd stay away from milk.

What has lost its stuff is that belt. J. McLaughlin decided to discontinue their luxe needlepoint line. I assume it's because of the much cheaper (and crappier) competition. The McLaughlin needlepoint, I own three, was the best damned needlepoint around...unless it was made by a loved one.



Teacher's Highland Cream is what it was. Nowhere near top shelf but huge value. Quaffable with soda, water or (God forbid) ginger ale, it can also do double duty as a single malt impersonator with a piddle of water for bloom. The blend is 45% malt. Mostly Ardmore. Add water and an oil slick appears looking like a one over fifty thousand map with mountains and rivers churning into each other. It's a beautiful thing to see. Especially in front of a fire.

I love this belt. Understated? No. Bright green rarely is, but it reminds me of the Teacher's aftertaste. A black label picks up the horse tail and hooves while the white of the breeches and saddle belt kick up the contrast. Pink trousers would be an easy enough pairing -- like soda with Scotch, but red cords bring it individuality without riding too far off the reservation.


The bottle is not round like these Esquire ads from the early '60s. Instead, the glass is flattened, much like a pancake, which easily fits into a back pocket... should the spirit move you.



UNC, Chapel Hill, NC - 1965




Winter is the home of Scotch. Wood burns in a fireplace and you can taste it in a glass of Teachers. It's a crazy steal for what it is. And while bright green is not always associated with Winter, the J Mac belt speaks more to how it was. I found mine on sale for $35. I'm not saying you will -- I'm just trying to teach you something...stay away from milk and the Chocolate Choo-Choo.

The Friday Belt: Black Bottled Winter

Let Us Unite


Cameron Hunting Tartan


Black Bottle Islay Blended Scotch

It's always nice to come back to the Friday Belt. Whenever I meet someone who's familiar with The Trad -- it's usually the first thing they comment on. I write it Thursday night while trying on content and trying to figure out a different way to photograph a belt and a bottle. It ain't easy, and it isn't always successful but that's what I like about it. Geez, I feel like Andy Rooney... Anyway, here's another tartan belt by Leather Man in Essex, CT

Cecil, the owner and a helluva nice guy, calls this a Cameron tartan (located here). For $30 bucks, that's a lotta belt. Most anything you get from Leather Man usually is. I did some digging around and this tartan appears to be the Cameron 'Hunting' tart designed in 1956. That doesn't do much for dusting off the history books, but I almost always prefer the darker Hunting tartans.

Pairs well with thick Winter cords and moleskins. I have a shirt of the same tartan. Love to pair it with this belt. Freaks people out, "Hey, is that the same...?" "What?" "Your belt. It's the same as your..." "What are you talking about?" I feel like Carson Kressley.

Dark Winter nights do not favor the sun kissed Gin & Tonic or Dark & Stormy. When it's cold and black out (or in), I need something that'll burn bright going down.

Black Bottle reminds me of a dangerous shore at night. A night we would describe as, "darker than the inside of a goat" at Ft Bragg. It's peaty - 7 different Islay single malts - and, I kid you not, you can smell and taste the sea. Maybe that's the Laphroaig coming through. Maybe not. No one knows what the single malts are but at $22 a bottle -- Who cares.

That's two Black Bottles for one green Laphroaig. I love Laphroaig, but $22 cuts a lot of Islay family ties, mate. You can slip this past your single malt drinkers friends -- they'll never know it's a blend. Serve two ounces neat with just a bloom of water and no one's the wiser... but ignore all questions pertaining to your belt and shirt.

Friday Belt: T & A with Lord Chet

173 Years of Tradition - $19 a case

I first sampled Lord Chesterfield Ale by Yuengling back in 1985. It was introduced to me by a fellow park ranger at Valley Forge and I became a fan before I knew what hops even were. It's hoppy but not like an IPA. Crisp. Drinkable as all get out. I'm having one with Herr's Old Bay Potato Chips right now. Masses of red Old Bay are seeping between the keys of my laptop. Who cares. 'Tis the season...

There was talk of Yuengling from the PA guys when I served time at Ft Bragg -- Home of the Airborne and the cultural arm pit of North Carolina. Beer in NC was about as Wonder Bread as it could get. Bud, Miller, Stroh's. I'm falling asleep just thinking about it. The PA guys had their own language. Most of 'em were from Southeastern PA. "Pottsville, you bet!" Maceko would yell. Mace went on to OCS and was commissioned in the Infantry. A solid guy, Mace.


Like most of the boys from PA, they were who they said they were. One guy came back from a friend's funeral in Lancaster with a '72 red Cadillac convertible that was left to to him by the deceased. He knew it was a piece of shit. Told me it was a piece of shit. But if you told him it was a piece of shit... he'd take your head off, then your arms and he wouldn't stop until he was chewing your heel.


Today, I'm happy to say many of my friends are from Pee A, and I'm even happier I can secure a case of Chet for $19. That's a steal. While the hip suck on PBR, compare their tatts and sigh with resignation that everyone is hopping on their wagon -- Try the hops from Cascade via the Lord -- I don't think the Hip'll make it here for another year or two.


Turnbull & Asser, 50 East 57th Street, NYC

The one place you will not find the Hip is Turnbull & Asser. While working in London 20 years ago, the 20-something fashion plates would turn up their nose at contrasting (white) collars and cuffs. "Old fogey, mate. What are you? 50?" Well, yes. 20 years later. This is home to serious sartorial savvy. No Red Wings here. This is serious ass dressing and unlike Lord Chet, it don't come cheap.


Vintage T&A from the 1940s

But you do get what you pay for. Impeccable tradition, value and quality. Are you paying $150 for an alpha (S,M,L,XL) shirt with unmatched stripes yoke to sleeve and made in some place you can't pronounce? Yes? Then you need to have your head examined. Turnbull & Asser offer custom belts...with one hole. I love that idea. One. Hole. Very understated.


The, "How Much Beer Are You Drinking Belt."

I fell for this belt during my last visit at the new store in New York. I wish this was around when I was 25 with a 30" waist. Not that I could afford it then...or now. I'll tell you this...if I keep drinking Lord Chesterfield I'm never wearing this belt.

The Friday Belt - Bloody Bloody

A good Bloody is hard to find. There are those who will tell you that using a mix is all wrong. They're wrong. And they sure as hell haven't been drinking as long as I have. A good Bloody is a very personal thing. There are those who like an insipid, characterless, watered down version and the idea is, if they've made it sans mix it's better than a mix. There are also those who turn right when everybody else is turning left.

McClure's is out of Brooklyn. The Bloody mix ($10) and pickles ($9) are not cheap and not for everyone. They have a freshness and soul about them fitting for lazy Sunday brunches of challah French banana toast, lots of bacon, poached eggs with white truffle oil and the Beatles, Rubber Soul, playing in the background (I read Xaviera Hollander's, Happy Hooker when I was 16 while listening to Rubber Soul over and over. Norwegian Wood never fails to put me in a certain mood).


The guy wearing this belt says, 'Bloody' a lot. 'Bloody hell, he's a bloody wanker. Why is he taking a bloody picture of my bloody belt?' My English friends don't understand my blog and that's okay ('...why would he bloody do that?'). I asked Joe for a photo of his belt and he happily obliged. Horse hair from somewhere in South America. I've been looking for one without any luck. If anyone has any leads please email me.

So it's not my belt and it's not my Bloody Mary but they both have real soul. The unusual is always packed with character and courage in that the belt and mix are not made for masses, but for a small and appreciative audience. That's what brave people and companies do. You don't always have to be a prostitute.



Update: It's called a Polo Belt and the source is here. At 30 pounds, it seems a steal and the company, Estribos, is located in Surrey and sells over the internet. Many thanks to the anonymous reader who sent the link. The belt above (Royal Dragoon Guards - 32 Pounds) is a Gaucho belt and available here. Not many sources but, happily, all are skull and crossbone free.

The Friday Belt : Flusser's Dry Manhattan

A retired FBI agent, Mr. Page, teaches sex crimes in the Florida Police Standards Course (police academy) and would weave his bizarre sense of humor into lectures. "There's a man in Jacksonville who can't get an erection unless there's a blue feather sticking in his ass." Half hour later Page pulls back his suit jacket to reveal a blue feather sticking out of his shirt pocket.

Page is at his lectern one afternoon, "A cop in Daytona was in high speed pursuit when he crashed into a wall. Horrible. Poor bastard was unconscious for months. He came to and was starving but could only mumble, 'Ah ghata eett sompun.' The doc says, "You gotta eat something?" 'Ya!' says the cop. 'But your mouth is wired shut due to the operation.' says the Doc. 'Am starvin!" says the cop. 'Okay' says the doc. 'I guess we could feed you through your rectum.' 'Enethen!' says the cop.

So they set the cop up in bed and raise his posterior. The doc puts a clamp in his ass and winds it open. The doc asks the cop, 'Is there anything you'd like to start with?' Cop says, 'I alwayz lik a cuppa coffee for ah start a meal.' Doc says, 'A cup of coffee?' Cop says, 'Ya.'

A nurse hands the doc a cup of coffee and he pours it into the cop's rectum. 'Schtooop! Da pain...etz too muucch!' screams the cop. 'Too hot?' says the doc. 'No.' says the cop... 'Too sweet.'

I still don't get it.


I covered the 'Manhattan' cocktail here in the first Friday Belt. Sazerac rye ($27) and Carpano Antica vermouth ($31) with bitters. Today, thanks to my new economy, we're gonna do a Manhattan for less than half of what we did it for over two years ago. I think it's better. Not too sweet. You with me? Good.


The problem is the vermouth. It's sweet. You need a bone dry rye to remedy that. Old Overholt is about as dry as you'll find. A perfect rye for the Manhattan and cheap as dirt. Between $10 to $15. A bunch of new rye is being heavily marketed and it's insanely overpriced. I suppose to pay for all that marketing. You may be inclined to think these brands are pouring coffee down your... but take comfort -- they'll be found out for what they are.



I used Dolin Rouge vermouth for two reasons. It's not sweet at all and it has history. They've been making this stuff with the same recipe since 1821. And while I would not be inclined to drink Overholt straight -- Dolin Rouge is fantastic with a little ice or sipped like a port.

Bitters, while expensive for what they are, last forever. They're the hidden value because they have such an impact on the drink. I used Fee Brothers West Indian Orange and Whiskey Barrel Aged. A shake of each is damned plenty.


If you're a Maker's Mark Manhattan drinker give the dry Manhattan a try. It's highly evolved and a very smart buy. Last Friday I was pretending to be highly evolved when I received an email from a designer friend. "You going to this flusser sample sale? 246 5th at 28th. 5th Floor." Never too proud to be out of the loop, I write back, "Flusser sample sale?!"



I'm out the door and burning down street when I get more details. Lot's of suits, shirts, socks, belts but no shoes. I get there and am astounded to see some 30 bolts of wool and cotton. The designer snags a beautiful bolt of madras that I'm sure you'll see in Saks SS/2012. Some guy with a strange accent throws on a white linen patch pocket sport jacket with side vents. Fits him like a glove.


I found a belt. But for me - it's a belt I've coveted ever since I saw it on my first visit to Flusser's shop. I cried about it here in an earlier Friday Belt post. Unable to afford this croc-surcingle master piece when I was flush -- somehow it finds its way back to me when I'm poor. Any hump can parade into Polo or Hilfiger and buy seven of these, 12 of those and slap down the platinum card. But when you find something you loved, but had to walk away from -- and you find it again and make it yours -- You're tempted to wear it everyday.

Friday Belts

It's been a while hasn't it? Well, when it rains it pours.

I stopped by to pass on good news to a designer when he started pulling books off his shelves and out of filing cabinets. I've seen a lot of historical ephemera on men's apparel but that book up there blew my mind, cleaned my clock and stole my girlfriend. Used as a trade catalog in 1926, nothing was better said by an employee, "If a guy couldn't sell with this book he was brain dead." Or something to that effect.

This is where I'm supposed to tell you the name of the book. Some of you are probably expecting a link to the book's listing on Alibris. And I would imagine there are a few of you who expect me to buy the book for you while I help you blow your nose. Let me get my handkerchief...

Welch-Margetson & Co. Ltd. Thumb indexed and hard covered with lots of color plates. Back in 2004 a lucky buyer picked up four hard cover and three paperback catalogs from Christies for $1,051. Keep a look out but until then check out more images from W-M on the blog, "The Age of Uncertainty." He won't help you blow your nose but he'll sell you a book.

Left to Right: De Ville D+, Montmartre B+, St Remy B-, Blansac B, Chatelle C-

I was reading about popular drinks in the 1920's and 30's and was surprised to learn scotch and bourbon were considered below the salt and not at all what the erudite and sophisticated New Yorker drank. That confirmed Toots Shor's tipple of choice, brandy and soda. I used 10 year Decaumont ($13) for the dangerous Side Car here but can't find it. Blansac (4th from left) makes for a good Side Car and runs about $20 a litre. It's a little gritty with soda but has the backbone you need for a Brandy Old Fashioned a la the Wisconsin Dinner Club in Door County on a Friday night. It pairs well with the all-you-can-eat perch fry for $9.50 but be sure to save some room for the cheery cobbler, doncha know.

The De Ville (1st from left) is very light and I found it lacking. But I like the label so it's on my bar but filled with the St. Remy (3rd from left) which is a little steep ($19) but is complex enough to stand on it's own in a snifter. No surprise it's made by Remy Martin. Chatelle (5th from left -$18) was disappointing given the sale job from the wine store. Then again, I may not have the discriminating palette of a brandy buff. The Montmartre (2nd from left) stood out as cheap ($15), complex and very smooth with a hint of sweetness. It's perfect alone in a snifter but is clean and bright with soda. It's also perfect with sweet vermouth and orange bitters for a poor man's Brandy Manhattan. I'll pour Montmarte into the Hine VSOP bottle when it's empty.

Brandy and cognac are derived from grapes rather than grain or corn. And like Manzanilla Sherry, there's not a lot of interest and that's why they're so cheap. Sadly, the trade catalog from Welch & Margetson is not but I thought you should know about it. OK, you can blow now.

The Friday Belt: 'Billy & Avery'

Me: What'll you have to drink?

She: I don't know. I do know whenever I drink champagne I want to take off my clothes.

Bartender: I'm sorry madam. We're out of everything but champagne.

Years ago 'Billy' was my go to rose champagne. At $45 in a wine store and $90 in a bar, it was tremendous value for the money. Today, you'll pay between $75 and $85 retail. Still, I think it's a great value...with the understanding: You do not drink it by yourself.

NV Billecart Salmon Rose is as close to vintage Louise Rose as you can get without paying upwards of $250. It is clean and bright and it tastes like sex. Roll it in your mouth and feel the cold escape while the bubbles break warm over your tongue. A fat plop of triple cream cheese on crusty French bread is perfect before dinner. Do this right and there shouldn't be any dinner.

I need a cold shower. I usually run a non-alcoholic beverage with a beltless trouser but Avery Lucas designed this canvas pant for me. It's rustic in that it's canvas fabric but the cut is dressy. The leg tapers from the knee to a 8" wide opening and while I'm not crazy about the pockets -- they're growing on me.

Avery included a button fly which, many will tell you, helps with the line of the pant. I can't tell the difference. I do know that if things are going well with the champagne -- a button fly will slow you down. Not that that's a bad thing.

The Friday Belt: Then Came French Blansac Bridle

A $15 bottle of brandy - A $30Bridle belt - A Souleiado button down. - And Michael Parks. What's it all have in common? You're gonna be goin' down a lonesome highway.

I was 12 when 'Then Came Bronson' came into my family living room. The opening had Parks pulling up to a red light on his Harley, looking like a hipster yanked off Greenpoint Avenue. A connection? Maybe

Some poor 9-5 stiff in a station wagon and a hipster hat (A connection? Maybe.) looks up at Parks and asks, "Taking a trip?" Parks mumbles, "Yeah." "Where to?" the stiff asks. Parks tells him, "Oh, I dunno. Where ever I end up I guess." The stiff looks in the direction of Parks crotch and sighs, "Man, I wish I was you."

Alright, I made up the part about the crotch but it was a great opening to a TV show that was wildly original but as odd as it was uneven. Still, I loved the show despite my mother's observation, "He's a bum! It's a TV show about a bum."

But men are born risk takers and women are born adverse to risk. It's a simple fact of life and it's the reason life insurance was invented. The only solution man has to, "I wanna sky dive, honey." is $5 million worth of term.

That belt and shirt are of French origin. I've touched on Souleiado before. I suppose it's an acquired taste yet the origins are hundreds of years old. The shirt pattern is a hand blocked print from the 18th century. That buckle would look a helluva lot better if it were cut in half but there's something very French about it. An "up yours" quality I have always loved about the French. Even when I'm on the receiving end of it.

I can flash the same "up yours" attitude when I'm in a NYC wine store and ask where the brandy is. "Sir, we don't have any brandy but the cognac is over...Sir? Sir...? Where did he go?" I don't like mixing $80 Hine cognac for a Side Car. Same goes with a splash of brandy in black coffee with melted dark chocolate stirred in. Blansac is French and it's brandy and it's cheap.

I think Parks would dig it. He'd scratch his watch cap while he toes a rock with his boot. Looking up he mumbles, "Yeah, a Side Car sounds nice. Where d'ja get that shirt?"