Showing posts with label Holidays. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Holidays. Show all posts
03 July 2014
12 May 2013
Happy Mother's Day
It pains me to reveal I had a poodle growing up but it wasn't my dog. It was every bit my mother's dog. Beau once ate a big box of Crayola crayons -- The one with the sharpener on the back. For a couple days he'd shit a pile of multi-colored poop. Years later, on my first business trip to South Beach Miami, I wasn't all that surprised by the similarity of South Beach to Beau's Crayola crap.
09 October 2012
08 October 2012
Brenda Patimkin, I love you...
I only watch on it on Columbus Day. Otherwise, I might watch it every day just for my favorite line, "Ain't that the fucking life."
31 August 2012
11 May 2012
Happy Mother's Day
Lake Norman, NC - Summer, 1971Mitt Romney tried to cut my hair that year. I kicked him in the balls.
05 May 2012
18 October 2011
William Bezek's Halloween: Beauty In The Dark
Against the vulgar backdrop of temporary Halloween costume stores (the 1st Pop Ups?), orange and black chotchkies and a cretinism that suits my country to it's razor bladed apple core... William Bezek's intelligent and tasteful Halloween sculptures rise above it all in their beautiful death. They're snappily dressed as well. Check 'em out at Bezek's blog here. I'd rather have a bunch of these than those silly English Christmas Carolers.
28 September 2011
Happy New Year
The necklace 
The heroThe music
A big, 'L'Shanah Tovah' to all my Heebros out there. I didn't meet many Jewish folk growing up on US Army posts so my first Rosh HaShanah in NYC was something of a surprise. I walked outta my apartment on West 18th Street -- pushed my way past some high school kids on my stoop smoking pot and drinking Heineken at 7AM -- and headed toward the IRT with a big resentment already bubbling. 'How can a fucking high school kid afford Heineken and I can barely pay for a quart of Blatz on a park ranger's salary?'
I get to the subway platform and see three other people. I wonder. It's a weekday. It's rush hour. Where is everybody? I'd get that same feeling driving the desolate stretch from Palatka to St Augustine at 3:00 AM listening to Fleetwood Mac's, Rumors over and over and suddenly wondering, after seeing no cars, if there had been a nuclear exchange and I was the sole survivor left in St Johns County.
I get to the Ranger Boat and see a bunch of people. Relieved, I walk up to an Irish Catholic ranger eating a potato knish with mustard and ask him what's going on and, "where is everyone?" He laughs, a mouth full of white potato with French's yellow streaked across his lips and tells me it's Rosh HaShanah or, what I later learn in Chicago is, "Rush Ah Home Ha."
I was 19 and a paratrooper at Ft Bragg when I bought a Star of David necklace and told anyone who would listen I was Jewish. I did this for two reasons. One, Ft Bragg was overflowing with bible thumping NCOs who found the Lord after all the killing in Vietnam and wanted to take you to church. Two, the Entebbe Raid that Summer had turned all of us at Bragg into huge fans of the Israeli Army. A ballsy operation whose only fatality was the officer in charge, Lt. Col. Yoni Netanyahu. A hero of mine to this day.
A young woman struck up a conversation at a party. She noticed my Star of David and asked if I was Jewish. I told her I was and she asked what I thought about the Torah. "What's that?" I asked. It took years for me to regret that one. Happy 5772.
05 September 2011
A National Bohliday
In the gigantic, everything's available, shopping mall that is America -- it's refreshing to find something limited to a specific region. How odd that it's usually beer? I haven't had a Natty Boh since college but was surprised how good (and cheap) it still is. It's enough to drive a man to Baltimore.
And if today's crowds and traffic get you down -- consider this. In Cuba they celebrate their labor day (May 1st) by working. ¡Coño!
04 July 2011
03 July 2011
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