10 March 2011

An Un-PC Tour of the Tower of London



A retired Army Sergeant Major gives a tour at the Tower of London. He begins part two of four by warning older tourists, in perfect voice projection unique to Sergeant Majors, they need to catch up to the rest of the group:

"It is an amazing fact that the elderly just don't realize how little time they have left. This could be your last holiday so make the most of it. Cram it all in... (whispering) before you die.

The Sergeant Major issues caution of just who writes history:

History is nearly always written by the people who win. (A Pause) This explains all the empty pages in French history books.

Finally, the Sergeant Major prepares the group to charge the inner ward:

"Charge is a military term. It means to move rapidly to engage in eager combat with an enemy so lets not have the Italians at the front."

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

It never fails to amaze me how un-PC the Brits are. It's as if they have no fear because they were once at the top.

-DB

Anonymous said...

Splendid but how could he have left out the Irish and the Scots? Just saying....ME

AlwaysMe said...

Fabulous! Thanks.

Brummagem Joe said...

Tintin: you obviously haven't heard this one.

Regimental Sergeant Major(bellows:) I have very bad news for one of you.

RSM: Step forward all whose mothers are alive.

RSM: Wait for it Simkins.

Brummagem Joe said...

"It never fails to amaze me how un-PC the Brits are. It's as if they have no fear because they were once at the top."

Sounds like that Omar Sharif line in Lawrence..."You ave no fear Inglish"...They do have the most enormous self confidence (not always justified as the recent incident in Libya indicates) and sense of humor but it's served them well on the whole

Brummagem Joe said...

How the Brits see themselves. Well it does take a bit of beating as a national myth....even the Japanese get it!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ioFmoFzdF3s&feature=related

tintin said...

DB- They revel in it. And think we're wankers for being sensitive. I have a friend in London who does his version of NPR after a few beers. Brilliant.

ME- His name is Bill and he's Irish. I used to warn visitors at the Castillo cannon firings not to put their fingers in their ears. They might meet.

Always me- Cheers, yeah.

Joe- Nice joke. I would have to say that the sickest and darkest jokes I've ever heard came from mostly Brits. They're also the funniest.

Thx for the vid. When I was taking lessons outta NEast Phila Apt, a Spitfire flew over as I walking to my Piper Tomahawk. The sound. It seemed to reverb through my body, reach down into my lungs and pull my ass through my ears. The Piper never quite looked the same.

Brummagem Joe said...

"The sound."

That V12 Merlin, there is no sound like it. It's from tv series called Piece of cake. And the Brits do revel in their political incorrectness. And it's not just the men. Fundamentally (unlike us) they never take themselves too seriously even in their heyday. I don't know if you've ever any of these military obits from the Telegraph. I remember one about some Lieutenant General during WW 2who was forever known as bottoms because he was shooting in the Hindu Kush just before WW 1 and mistook a sleeping bear as a rock and sat on it and it bit him in the ass.

Kcaj said...

Re Merlins, skip ahead to 1:03 for a low flyover...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P2nlGN6aS8g&feature=related

Jack.

greatzamboni said...

Fantastic!

trailer trad said...

Absolutely brilliant. Thanks Tin Tin!

Giuseppe said...

Don't worry about the Italians. They're likely all outside smoking, swearing, and harrassing young ladies by this point in the tour. Charge!

Anonymous said...

Brill.

skorpeo said...

I once has the opportunity to attend an organized tour of the Ypres battlefield in Belgium. My tour guide was absolutely wonderful, but had nothing but disdain for the Germans for what they did to his country in WWI and WWII. One fellow tour attendee asked his companion if the guide toned to down when Germans were on the tour, to which the reply came; "He doesn't accept Germans on his tours..."