Off My Back: J Crew

Not sure exactly how old this is. Maybe 20 years? You don't remember buying a shirt in a J. Crew outlet the same way you remember buying a shirt on Jermyn Street. There's not much of a story here either. The wear and tear speaks more to the washing and drying than any adventure. But I love the frayed patina and the old tag. It's a weekend shirt good at absorbing hangovers, washing the car, leaning up against time and holding onto life by a thread.

My J. Crew Story

Was talking to a J Crew employee this morning at the opening of their new men's store on 79th and Madison. Beautiful Swain Adeney Brigg brollies and leather cases fill up an old bank vault with Barbour coats, Quoddy moccs, silver Benson & Clegg collar stays, Timex watches and Crockett and Jones brogues not to mention my beloved, D.R. Harris toiletries. While the paneling says Scandinavia - this place screams St James's Place.

The employee tells me he thinks it's great to have it, "...all in one place so you don't have to run around..." I say, "I'm just the opposite." And he says, "What do you mean?" I say, " Imagine you're walking in London.

And it starts to pour. You run into a shop just to escape the rain and as you brush off your coat you see a Swaine Adeney Brigg umbrella. It's 200 pounds and the exchange is nearly 2 to 1 but you gotta have it. Hell, it's raining.

So you buy it and crank it open as you step onto King Street and head for the Red Lion Pub to meet an auctioneer about a Monet panel that you buy for 20,000 pounds and sell for $200,000 in the states.

For 20 years you manage not to lose that umbrella. You loan it to no one. You run back to several restaurants knowing you left it by your table and you know it's gone for sure. But it's always there. One night a waiter chases you down the street and taps you on the shoulder, "Sir, you forgot this..."

It's a story. And you tell it over drinks where your friends shake their heads in disbelief -- but it's all true. Every word of it. Almost. Or, you can tell people you bought your umbrella at J Crew."

The employee shakes his head and says, "Man, I know what you mean." And I wonder, "Do you?" For those of you who don't want to run around...it's all in one place and a beautiful place it is. For those of you who want stories - - Book your tickets now. Before you run out of time to live.

Needlepoint Slippers For A Saab?

I don't think so.

I just discovered two things about ADG at Maxminimus. One, he wants to know where I secured these slippers. Here's a clue. I found them in a Boston thrift shop for $3.50

Two, he owns a Saab. Which broke. I assume his Aunt Tootie bought it for him because we all know, those of us who are men (gay or straight), that Saab is the J. Crew of automobiles.