Probable Maximum Loss: Cole Haan

Esquire Gentleman Magazine, Spring / Summer 1993

Probable Maximum Loss or PML is an insurance term I always called the "Ka-Boom" factor. PML is a basic underwriting strategy where an insurance company figures it's total maximum loss in a building, location, region or... shoe maker.

Cole Haan started in Chicago in 1928 and were, by the time I knew them in the '80s, the classic shoe choice. Whether a simple calf tassel loafer (my first post college shoe) or their perfect correspondent in buck and tan calf -- Cole Haan was classic. You didn't wear tassel loafers -- you wore Cole Haan tassel loafers.

In 1993, Cole Haan introduced the venetian loafer you see in the advertisement above. It was a clean looking shoe made in their Maine factory. In 1988, Cole Haan was bought by Nike and shortly afterwards closed their Maine plant and moved all manufacture off shore. How odd that Cole Haan became, if not the first, one of the earliest shoe companies to embrace off shore while leaving pricing the same.

Today, pricing remains high for what you get but design has really suffered as seen here. The plastic injected shoe so commonly associated with Donald Pliner is seen across the Cole Haan line. This may have more to do with the small world of shoe design talent but I think it stems more from what Asian factories are comfortable making. Who knows. I don't pretend to know a lot about making shoes. I do understand Probable Maximum Loss. You know? Ka-Boom!

The Turtleneck and Alexander Mundy

I must have been doing my Alexander Mundy impersonation the day this was taken. Despite great effort I never could get my hair to part to the right.

3rd Season opening to "It Takes a Thief." Cool didn't get any cooler.

"Let me get this straight...you want me to steal?" Oh, man...how I wanted to be Alexander Mundy when I was a kid.

I usually kicked off my Robert Wagner impersonation with, "Noah...let me get this straight" to establish with my audience - - usually at the lunch table - - just where this line was coming from. The key was Noah 'cause every kid I knew watched the show and it was darned difficult to cram "Alexander Mundy" into the lead. We're talking six syllables compared to just two. More importantly than the "No-ah" utterance was the turtleneck. It really helped pull off the Al Mundy impersonation. My preference was black. A shoulder holster would've helped enormously but those were difficult to secure even then.

Turtlenecks are still an important part of Autumnal Trad wear. And I've had many that refused to die. I may even have the one I'm wearing in the picture. Maybe it's because they're seasonal and get a rest...I don't really know but they can go on forever. Cotton is great. Merino is cool. But you really graduate when you buy cashmere. Two ply or three will keep the turtleneck from turning into a cowlneck. I can't wear my black cashmere turtleneck without a desire to spin a combination dial and steal my girlfriend's jewelry. I like to wear it with black wool trousers, black tassel loafers and tucked in with a simple black calf strap with sterling monogrammed buckle. Very slimming as well.

Despite all of the years trying - - I never got beyond, "Let me get this straight...you want me to steal?" But after many decades of trying I finally got my hair to part to the right.