Merry Summer

Ft. Monroe Officer's Club - The Deep End

My 14th Summer was hot. Hampton, VA was spared by a breeze or two off the Chesapeake Bay but the place to be, for me, was the pool at the Ft. Monroe Officer's Club. There was an ocean beach but the water was always infested with jelly fish and the officer's wives preferred the sandless concrete deck of the pool.

I watched as formulas of baby oil & iodine were massaged by hands with long pink nails. Swimming towards the deep end in a slow breast stroke - I couldn't take my eyes off them. Not for the nine year olds playing Marco Polo. Not for the F-15 flying over from Langley. Certainly not for girls my age. Not for anyone who wasn't north of field grade and spritzing her hair with hydrogen peroxide. Lighting another Virginia Slim. Rooting through a purse for sunglasses.

When Major Frampton's wife stood up in her white bikini, strode to the edge of the deep end and slowly slid her baby oiled body into the water... I wanted to be the water. I poked my head under and watched her glide inches above the bottom of the pool as sunlight bounced off long frog-kicking legs.

Later, in wet trunks and a towel, I stood shivering in the cold air conditioned bar while my father and 30 other men like him sat at their martini lunches. 30 backs in military creased khaki shirts and black web belts leaned forward on bar stools. Packs of cigarettes and Zippo lighters engraved with 'Fuck Communism' littered the bar while huge Army issue glass ashtrays smelled like chlorine from the pool.

My father reached into his elephant hide wallet, handed me a dollar for the Fanta machine and I watched him sneak a look at the deep end of the pool. That was the first time I ever told him a joke. "Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln -- How did you enjoy the play?" He laughed and so did the officer next to him. I couldn't wait to wear khaki.

A Man's Movie: Summer Lovers

Shot on the Greek Island of Santorini, this 1982 guilty pleasure of cheese gives you travel poster scenery, gorgeous naked women, lots of drinking and smoking, plenty of sex and The Three Stooges. What it doesn't give you is a story but as a critic wrote, "Any movie about a menage a trois on a Greek Island can't be all bad." Amen to that. Daryl Hannah, Peter Gallagher and a stunning Valerie Quennessen (1957-1989) star.

Directed by Blue Lagoon's, Randal Kleiser, a college buddy turned screenwriter met the director at a party and told Kleiser how much his college room mate (me) loved this film. Kleiser avoided my buddy the rest of the night. The horrible story is kept alive with a bouncing sound track that includes Robert Palmer's, Johnny and Mary (covered by Tina Turner in the film) seen here in a equally cheesy Italian video from 1980. I suggest pairing this movie with a Santorini chardonnay and some feta. Make it a whole lotta feta.