Ciao, Tony!

Back in high school, the last of four, DB and I bonded over James Bond, Kodachrome, mail order camera stores and Italian movies.  Our friendship has survived cultural differences and distances not to mention a fit of jealousy on the occasion he photographed my girlfriend topless in his parent's pool. 30 years later I'll admit my jealousy was more about his talent --He took better pictures of my girlfriend than I ever could.

Instead of 'awesome,' DB and I used, "Ciao, Tony!" to express anything we thought was cool. This was from a long forgotten Italian heist movie where, for the duration of the film, beautiful Italian women shout, "Ciao, Tony" to the hero. I still use it but mostly keep it to myself nowadays -- It's too hard to explain.

DB's good about sending me clips from obscure foreign films.  I posted about Mina and Trad Italian way back in 2008 - Before some of you were born.  She's not singing in DB's clip but I love everything about it. The car, the hotel, the clothing...I've always thought God was Italian.  I don't think he's at the Vatican.  I believe he's hanging out in a hotel somewhere on the Amalfi Coast in a white linen suit and drinking a chilled Umbrian white while nibbling at a bruschetta. I believe if that sportscar in the clip pulled up, God might say, "Ciao, Tony!"

Trad Xmas List: Satan for the Stocking

“There is nothing like suspense and anxiety for barricading a human's mind against the Enemy (God). He wants men to be concerned with what they do; our business is to keep them thinking about what will happen to them.”  The Screwtape Letters 

There's a Playboy interview (Nov. 1985) with Klaus Kinski where the actor goes bezerk over highway signage:

"There is a sign that says, RIGHT LANE MUST EXIT. Right lane MUST exit! MUST! And I say to myself, MUST? Fuck YOU!"  

For me, this was an instant connection to Kinski. It's still there but mostly shows itself through a shallow disgust of popular culture telling me what I should like and most importantly buy.  That's why I'm so happy to discover the truffles of life. A restaurant, an oxford shirt, chinos or even an uncommon thought on a common subject. 

I wish I read The Screwtape Letters when I was 13.  It wouldn't have been an easy read. It's not an easy read now but there's an odd way correspondence between an elder devil (under-secretary), Screwtape, and his young nephew, Wormwood, have illuminated some simple ideas on how to live life...whether your Christian or not.  Screwtape suggests fashion and novelty are key tools to keep man from the Enemy (God).

"The game is to have them all running about with fire extinguishers whenever there is a flood, and all crowding to that side of the boat which is already nearly gunwale under."

Despite the formality of C.S. Lewis, it's exciting to watch demons manipulate man toward their goal.  Screwtape digs into the marrow:

"...He (God) wants men, so far as I can see, to ask very simple questions; is it rightous? is it prudent? is it possible? ...if we can keep men asking 'Is it in accordance with the general movement of our time?  Is it progressive or reactionary? Is this the way history is going?' they will neglect the relevant  questions.  ...while their minds are buzzing in this vacuum, we have the better chance to slip in and bend them to the action we have decided on." 

It's hard to think of a more contrarian view of God that operates in the positive. I say that assuming you're not related to Srewtape.  My own philosophy, 'God tells me what to do but the Devil's my secretary' touches on my own weakness --  giving up when the going gets tough.  

"The Enemy (God) allows disappointment to occur on the threshold of every human endeavor. 

...the boy...enchanted...by Stories from the Odyssey buckles down to really learning Greek.

...lovers have got married and begin the real task of learning to live together.

In every department of life it marks the transition from dreaming aspiration to laborious doing."

When I was 13, I asked my Dad if there was a God.  He took me outside, pointed to a sky filled with stars and said, "It's impossible to look at that and not believe there's a God."  When I asked why we didn't go to church anymore, he said he had changed his mind about some things.  This was only two years after he came back from Vietnam. But, he added, "If you remember only one thing...just treat people how you want to be treated." 

I've failed countless times but it seems impossible to give up on the Golden Rule.  Still, I'm not sure where I would be today had I read Screwtape when I was 13. Of course, I'm not sure where I would be if I had never read it. 

“Nothing...is strong enough to steal away a man's best years not in sweet sins but in a dreary flickering of the mind over it knows not what and knows not why, in the gratification of curiosities so feeble that the man is only half aware of them, in drumming of fingers and kicking of heels, in whistling tunes that he does not like, or in the long, dim labyrinth of reveries that have not even lust or ambition to give them a relish, but which, once chance association has started them, the creature is took weak and fuddled to shake off.”

God and The Shaggy Dog

The J Press Shaggy Dog Shetland

Just like bacon.

I often wonder if God gets bored. Maybe even burned out. How many times has He been down the same road? I mean, if I get bored doing the same thing for 20 years - - just imagine what it's like for Him? An eternity is like...a long time, dude.

Over and over and over. And the, "Been There. Done That. Got the T Shirt." He must have a Katrillion of 'em. It's no wonder He knows what's gonna happen. It's like me giving a dog bacon. I know for a fact he's going to eat it. J Press is like that for me. They know I'm gonna eat the bacon. Especially when there's a sale. All you need to do is point me to the Shaggy Dogs.

Shetlands are Shetlands but J Press puts every other Shetland to shame with their bright colors, generous fit, substantial heft and reasonable price. Plus, I like the inside tag. I commented on a photo Alice Olive posted of a brilliant blue sky and wondered where I could find a sweater in that color blue. Go figure I'd find it at Press. Maybe God's hanging out there - - Kicking back on one of those Barcelona chairs. After all, don't we know what dog is spelled backwards?

God, Crab & Montrachet

Crab cakes and white wine. How's that for not burying the lead? But the details are very important. It must be the right crab. And that is becoming an issue. Fresh and hand picked, Jumbo Lump is getting expensive. But once you've tasted it - - nothing else will do. $32 a pound. If you can find it. Not as good as it was but better than it will be. NAG-AIW-BBT-IWB (TM).

Just a few years ago the season for crab (now) was met with these beautiful, clear containers nestled in chunks of ice. Oh, what a site they were. Some Old Bay Crab seasoning and a little mayo and you had a ticket to Nirvana. But it gets better.

Chassagne Montrachet figures into this in a big way. A white Burgundy that must have been created by God to pair with crab cakes. "Okay, I just created the crab." God wipes his hands. "Now, is'a time (I always think of God as an Italian) for the perfect a'wine to go with them." Poof! Chassagne Montrachet. God takes a bite of crab cake, "Oooo, thas'a nice. Nutty, clean, I taste'a the sea." God swirls his wine glass - - sniffs and takes a sip. "Oh, my God! Wait a minute. I am'a God." God takes another sip. This one is a little longer. God sighs and says, "Damn, I'm a good."

Chalk up another one for God.

We live in a world of entitlement. Every once in a while God slaps me upside my head and I remember to be grateful. Granted, this ain't cheap grateful. All in, we're talking a hundred bucks or so. But if you've lived in Nebraska your whole life...you probably don't know what I'm talking about. God would be upset about that.

Pickers, the people who do the very hard work of picking crabs have always been hard to find. They're getting even harder to find. Gas, which is getting more expensive, keeps fisherman from fishing. If you're not grateful now for this experience - - you will be in a year or two- - 'cause it may be gone. Pasteurized crab from Vietnam and Thailand will be our options. And God will not like that one'a bit.