A HUMP in training - Cheating at putt putt - Victoria 1988
HUMP graduation - London - 1992Welcome to a new series on Wednesday called HUMP (Hugely Unimportant Midlevel Professional) Day. There should be no shortage of qualified candidates and we kick it off with one of the biggest HUMPs I know. Myself.
Key to being a HUMP is a gigantic sense of self importance despite the fact you could disappear from the face of the earth and no one would ever know - much less care. This navel gazing period of life, usually in one's mid 30s, follows some equally unimportant corporation making you Vice President (along with hundreds of others) and sending you to London with a big fat expense account which is happily abused.
A favorite acquisition with company plastic is the Hermes tie. The HUMP prefers to wear his tie with the Hermes logo'ed narrow end flapping about for all to see. Much like "Show & Tell" of unbuttoned cuffs on MTM in Mexico suit jackets.
The HUMP returns to the states and speaks with a slight questioning lilt at the end of each sentence while telling stories of odd jackets, double cuffs, lifts, holidays, westkits and getting a leg over. Add to this the HUMP struggle to find packets of Silk Cuts & digestive biscuits, loose Lapsang Souchong, A4 notebooks and proper pork pies.
Unless the HUMP is jerked out of this dangerous affliction of arrogance and entitlement by either (1)repeated failures or (2)loved ones, the result can lead to chairmanship of an international company, a bad perm and a desire to, "get one's life back" after taking a king size crap in the Gulf of Mexico.
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