The Friday Belt: 'Billy & Avery'

Me: What'll you have to drink?

She: I don't know. I do know whenever I drink champagne I want to take off my clothes.

Bartender: I'm sorry madam. We're out of everything but champagne.

Years ago 'Billy' was my go to rose champagne. At $45 in a wine store and $90 in a bar, it was tremendous value for the money. Today, you'll pay between $75 and $85 retail. Still, I think it's a great value...with the understanding: You do not drink it by yourself.

NV Billecart Salmon Rose is as close to vintage Louise Rose as you can get without paying upwards of $250. It is clean and bright and it tastes like sex. Roll it in your mouth and feel the cold escape while the bubbles break warm over your tongue. A fat plop of triple cream cheese on crusty French bread is perfect before dinner. Do this right and there shouldn't be any dinner.

I need a cold shower. I usually run a non-alcoholic beverage with a beltless trouser but Avery Lucas designed this canvas pant for me. It's rustic in that it's canvas fabric but the cut is dressy. The leg tapers from the knee to a 8" wide opening and while I'm not crazy about the pockets -- they're growing on me.

Avery included a button fly which, many will tell you, helps with the line of the pant. I can't tell the difference. I do know that if things are going well with the champagne -- a button fly will slow you down. Not that that's a bad thing.

Old Spice vs Canoe

"Otter, meanwhile, had wandered to the men's toiletries display. He was wondering whether to buy some Canoe, the new aftershave that was currently being heavily advertised on the tube, but when he sniffed it he found it much too sweet.

He snickered; Gregg Marmalard would probably wear stuff like that on his dates with Mandy. Otter guessed he would remain an Old Spice man a while longer." Chris Miller - The National Lampoon's Animal House Book

Xmas Shopping in Bloomies or Make Mine A Double...

David Burke Townhouse

Just up the street from the Hell on earth that is Bloomingdales this time of year (Actually, Bloomingdales is Hell on earth anytime of year with the women's shoe department being Satan's corporate office), is the erudite and sophisticated, David Burke Townhouse.

As a matter of full disclosure - I haven't eaten here...yet. The Golf Foxtrot and I stopped by on our way to a champagne tasting for a quiet cocktail. And quiet it is. In fact, once you're at the bar everything slows down. In a good way. Every great New York restaurant shares a hard to define calming quality. As an old friend reminds me, "You don't go to a restaurant for the food. You go because it makes you feel special."

While the Foxtrot sipped a glass of Prosecco -- crisp, clean and light. I sipped a Manhattan --deep, earthy and dark. We watched the show in the main dining room below us, elegantly decorated for Christmas, and staffed with attention, care and three men in suits. I have friends who rave about the brunch here and there are some who consider the Burke brunch one of Manhattan's best. The special part is out of the way. Next time - the food.

Trad Rules & General Ising

Neiman Marcus Christmas Catalog - 1972

Neiman Marcus turtleneck - 1995

Useless -

Just say no
Not even for blow

"No pocket square with turtlenecks." Gen. Ising

I don't like suits with out ties...too much. I think, with tan gabardine or poplin, you can get away with it in Summer. Just. Otherwise, you're gonna look like President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

I don't like pocket squares...too much. Here my 'Dick Cavett Jacket' loses its understated charm thanks to an overpriced piece of silk. In fact, no pocket square with turtlenecks is my rule. And Trad rule's rule.

This black cashmere turtleneck was a Christmas gift 15 or so years ago and it's still going strong. Elegant and 'at home' in the '70s, the turtleneck seemed a natural with men's blow dried hair, longer sideburns and driving gloves.

Of course I'm General Ising. And I am an army man.

Mercer & Son's Buffalo Bill Gingham

"Our shirts really do have character where other shirts look like they're made by robots. If it looks perfect, it really has no style. Art not science. " David Mercer

"Being as small as we are, often we're doing one shirt at a time. We have always been focused on quality first and value second." DM

"We were 5-6 weeks and are 7-8 at moment. -hope to cut that back to 5-6." The wait

"Dried Blood Gingham."

Same Mercer roll as the button down

Best to stay outta PJ Clarke's

Perfect button holes

Broad cloth, surcingle & canvas

Understanding the history-

if for no else...

...than you.

I reckon I've tried a half dozen MTM shirt makers in the last couple of years with varying success. I have developed an eye for a well made shirt and my rule is, "The simpler the better." If Mercer & Sons aren't MTM - they should be. Left arm half inch shorter than your right? Mercer will take care of it. Don't want a pocket but do want a locker loop. Mercer will take care of it. Each shirt is cut for you after you order so nothing is off the shelf.

David Mercer and I worked on this shirt together. I wanted a dark burgundy-over sized gingham and no one had the fabric. A lotta folks said, "No problem, we can get that." And when it came time to get -- they couldn't. This happens a lot in the MTM shirt biz. For whatever reason the swatch in the book is not supported by yardage at the plant. It's frustrating.

I'll never know how David found this fabric but my "Dried Blood Gingham" was perfect for what I had in mind. David did talk me into a plain collar for what he calls, "the Buffalo Bill." My first plain collar will not be the last.

It's softer and more comfortable than the button down. It's not lined and unbuttoned it's very relaxed looking with a perfect roll. There's no matching sleeve to yoke patterns but that's easily overlooked by just how damned well this thing is put together.

There's a lotta mass produced crap out there with bespoke details like split yoke, double/ triple button cuffs and contrast button hole stitching but they come in M, L and XL along with goods of questionable origins. It's amazing what some folks are getting away with. I paid $135 for mine but David is offering you the Buffalo Bill for $102 and free shipping.

That ain't bad at all for what probably are the best, non-MTM-but-better-than-MTM-shirts out there. Go here for details and the secret order code.

Ask The Trad: Eight Hours To Make Socks?

Customer photo courtesy of Scotweb

Edinburgh Castle guard - Photo courtesy of Corgi
42nd Regiment Officer circa 1780

A reader expressed doubt about how it could take Corgi eight hours to make a pair of socks adding The Trad should add a "Gullible Approved Badge." That's a stamp up there, mate and these are tartan hose not socks. With help from Corgi and a little research I learned why it takes eight hours not to mention some other tartan facts.

"To start with the yarn is specially twisted and dyed for us and is not generally available. It is a 4 ply pure merino wool. We knit the leg part of the sock on a flat knitting machine and it is then linked together by hand into the tube shape of the leg. By knitting it flat we can vary the thickness of the leg to allow more room for well developed calf muscles.

This 'tube' is then picked up stitch by stitch by hand on a 100 year old hand sock knitting machine and the foot section is added completely by hand. The toe is then linked closed, again by hand. Finally the sock is washed, then pressed in a 60 year old flat bed press on specially shaped wooden boards." Chris Jones, Corgi Hosiery

There are a number of hose patterns Corgi make to be worn with a kilt. The idea is not to match the hose to the kilt but rather for the hose to compliment the colors of the kilt. As an example, I've seen both red and navy checked hose with the Black Watch kilt as well as a burgundy and white check.

When it comes to who can wear tartan, Alastair Campbell of Airds, writes in Brian Wilton's, Tartans, "So the answer to the question 'What tartan am I entitled to wear?' is - Any tartan you fancy. The sole considerations are good taste - some tartans are appalling clashes of color!"

And you don't have to wear a kilt. When the Urban Outfitter designer showed me the Black Watch golf jacket, I mentioned the ugly lining should be replaced in three panels with the 42nd's regimental colors of green, navy and burgundy. This is where - what you wear - not only looks good but has some intelligence and thought behind it. Even if it's just you who understands what's going on.

More U Boats & Turtlenecks

Smirnoff 1978

A Man's Movie: The McKenzie Break

It's not Hogan's Heroes

Cpt Jack Connor - Fun loving - sex loving piranha

Major Perry- A steady Eddie

Cpt Willi Schlueter- Hitler Youth honor grad

Good with a Sten gun

"Willi, looks like we're both in the shithouse."

William Norton wrote the screenplay for The McKenzie Break and said about his movies, "I don't think your I.Q. is low enough." Mine is. Released in 1970, I caught this on TV in 1973 and loved it. 37 years later it holds up well and is screaming to be remade. Based on an actual German POW break, the film is about three very different men.

Brian Keith does a passable Irish accent and a deadly accurate flask tilt as Cpt Jack Connor. A born risk taker, a reporter before the war and no time to play by the rules during the war. He rolls the dice on allowing a POW break with the hope of nabbing the big fish.

This doesn't sit well with camp commander, Major Perry. In over his head, cowardly and perfectly suited to a long career in government, Perry is replaced by Connor and can only bitch and snitch. It's a lousy part nailed by Ian Hendry who also nailed the bad guy in Michael Caine's, Get Carter, a beautiful film from 1971 where Caine compares Hendry's eyes to, "piss holes in the snow."

Cpt Willie Schlueter comes off with a natural charm but you soon realize he'd kill his own mother to move up a rank. Helmut Griem (Max in Cabaret) reminds me of Nazis in Hans Fallada's, "Every Man Dies Alone." Charming and erudite but nothing more than a thug, but in evening clothes.

Griem, Hendry and Keith are all dead and Mr Norton just passed away. But I see these three men every day. In others and in myself. Actually, I see all three in me. I'm a risk taker but I'm also a coward and can be a thug. When I saw this film for the first time I was 15 and all I saw were the turtleneck sweaters.

Killing Hipsters

Off The Reservation With Brohammas

Brohammas

Should'a brought a tape recorder

The affected car wreck

Which looks better out of focus

Last week I met Brohammas for breakfast in Philadelphia. Nice guy. Never had a drop of alcohol. Good thing we met for breakfast. Anyway, he asked if he could interview me and after two cups of coffee I was off like a rocket. You can read the interview and see his art here.

I thought a picture might help with the story (told here) of the ascot and blazer patch. I've tried to recreate what I wore that night here. I want to be very clear about the rule I broke that night. Whenever you wear an ascot it's best to tone everything else down. A lot.

That night I did just the opposite with a double breasted blazer and blazer patch. A pair of velvet slippers would have pushed this affectation way off the reservation. I told my young interviewer, "If you can't forget you're wearing it - you probably shouldn't."