" A fortnight ago, whilst tucking into a brace of pheasant with the ravishing Lady Ramsey at Rules, I happened to drop my serviette. I leaned under the table to pick it up when I noticed Lady Ramsey was sans knickers. I shot up in my chair, pulled my asscot off and offered it to the lady. She promptly blew her nose in it, thanked me and handed the soiled silk paisly back. While I thought the asscot would make a wonderful interim panty - - I could only be grateful when later she sat astride my leg at Whites and sang Celtic songs while feining a gallop on my thigh. Must have been the texture of my Turnbull and Asser cavalry twills that was so appealing. Happy whatever it is you people across the pond do or do not do today."