21 August 2012
Where Have all The Floppy Tennis Hats Gone?
I bought this hat in Bermuda at least 15 years ago. Never wore it. Too big despite its claim of S/M. I'm a 7 1/4, depending on the last visit to the barber shop.
I learned a trick in the park service for fixing hats that are too big. Fold a paper towel four or five times until it's about an inch wide and tuck under the sweat band. One in front and one in back. Over time the hat'll loosen up but just stick a couple new paper towels in and you're good to go.
The Floppy Tennis Hat is getting hard to find. There are bucket hats but they're not the same thing. For one, they don't have the green shade on the underside of the front brim. Secondly, they're just too hipster at present and I think the aesthetic is all wrong. Too little hat for the head, unless you wear a size 9 ... in which case you can use your hat to carry groceries home.
Then there's the floppy tennis hat with a domed top complete with that silly button on top. That's a big No-Go unless you're a 55 year old woman with frosted hair and pink nail polish who makes a killer G&T and plays in the Atlanta Peach League. The authentic Floppy Tennis Hat has be flat on top. That allows you to crush it and mold it and make the hat your own.
Some folks prefer the all white hat sans ribbon. Probably a good idea -- Unless it's a hat from Bermuda. It's an understated destination and it allows you to communicate your knowledge of, and desire for a Dark & Stormy. I'm not sure what you communicate with ribbon announcing,"Welcome to Vegas."
Those are my requirements. The Floppy Tennis Hat is as much at home on the court as it is on the streets of NYC... with a pair of Ray Bans. I know it's an advertisement for being over 40. What's wrong with that? Sometimes, I like to wear mine like Art Buchwald.