13 October 2011

Halloween Costume Idea # 1

I first head this in college. I wanted to be Frank on Halloween. Short sleeve shirt & tie. Gas can in one hand and a Mickey's Big Mouth in the other. Never got around to it. Maybe you will. Here's how I'd introduce myself.

Hi, name's Frank
(shake hands),
Just settled down in the Valley.
Yeah, I like to say I hung my wild years
on a nail I drove through my wife's forehead.

What do I do? Anything I want.
No, seriously...I sell used office furniture out
there on San Fernando Road. Yep.
Assumed a $30,000 loan at 15 1/4% and
put a down payment on a little two bedroom place.

The wife? Spent piece of used jet trash...
Makes a good Bloody Mary. Keeps her mouth shut most
of the time. We have a little Chiuaua named Carlos.
Has some sort'a skin disease and is totally blind.
I drive a Nissan. Yeah, I'd say we're pretty happy.

Was coming home from work one night when
I stopped off at the liquor store and picked up a couple
Mickey's Big Mouths. Drank 'em in the car on the way to the
Shell Station. Got a gallon of gas in a can and drove home.

Doused everything in the house and
torched it.
Parked across the street and watched it burn...
All Halloween orange and chimney red.

Then I put on a top 40 station,
got on the Hollywood Freeway
and headed north.
Yeah, I'll have another one.

(to myself)
Never could stand that dog.


Jeff P. said...

"Spent piece of used jet trash" = poetry.

Farrago said...

Nathaniel West would be impressed.

tintin said...

Been using that line for years.

I obey stop signs.

Anonymous said...

True, you have been using that great line for years. But people have the attention spans of gnats. Especially so at parties. Maybe go with costume idea number 2. And listen to "The Heart of Saturday Night" alone, with the lights off, drink in hand.


BigDaddyMan said...

"Phone rings it's your second cousin". Yeah, go with "Heart of Saturday Night". Or "Hang on St. Christopher". "Frank's Wild Years" is some depressing shit when you think about it (& I don't want to think about it).

Yankee-Whisky-Papa said...

I often inadvertently end up dressed for Halloween parties as another one of his songs: The Piano [that had] Been Drinking.