19 February 2014

Hooterville Fashion Week

Me and the Golf Foxtrot with Fred

We were invited to Hooterville Fashion Week (blogging's awesome), n thanks to the millions of miles I travel each year, largely due to this awesome blog of mine, I  copped a first class seat. Greyhound rocks it when it comes to their award's program.

I tried to IG  (that's Instagram, Mom!)  my upgrade but the driver told me they were trying to cut back on paper so no tasty ephemera to photo for posteriority but we got to sit right behind the driver which is so much cooler than sitting next to the toilet which is so not waxed cotton.

Fred "the King" Ziffel- Old dudes know how!

My hero of heroes was sitting n the front row of the killer JC Penny runway show…….of course.  Fred Ziffel, most recently fashion director at True Value Hardware,  is killing it n this tasty jacket, tie and shirt combo.  He's popping the collar as well which, is like, what I'd totally do.

Even though King (I bow to you)  Ziffel is older than dirt, he has amazing juice (He has a Tropicana tattoo on his butt. Don't ask me how I know).  Fred selfishly educates all the younger dudes whom he affectionately calls Twinks.  I had no idea what Twink meant  but Fred promised to 'splain it' if I'd come up up to his room later that night.  Which I did. He is such a lovely man.

William Michaels for AmeriMexicana Work Wear

Sickest dude of dudes, William Michaels curates AmeriMexicana while walking that awesome tight rope of edgy work wear greatness: American Union work wear n illegal Mexican picker denim.  Michael laid out some awesome facts n figures for the line.

Last year saw sales increase of 1200% net.  Profit margins increased some 3000% and 1,349,000 people now follow AmeriMexicana on Twitter.  That's a flossin' increase from 34 followers last year.  Don't believe me?  Check out this killer picking jacket n Juarez orange with velvet toading n extra large bellow's pockets for lettuce or grapes.  How sick is that?

Nicky Brewster models AmeriMexicana Picking Jacket

Sam Drucker showing dudes how to buy Twitter followers

Fellow blogger, Sam Drucker, of 'Now that I Get It - I Don't Want It' came all the way from LA and whacked us all with this crazy 1754 Filson Lumberjack shirt originally owned by, I swear to McNairy,   George Fucking Washington... back when the first dude was a surveyor or some shit like that.

I'm not sure really, but isn't the 17th century awesome?  I'm guessing it survived so long because they didn't have dry cleaners like today --  Back then they had colonist dry cleaners --Try finding a colonist dry cleaner today.

Almost out of room n vocabulary.  Anyway, HFW was awesome and I wanna thank all the flossers --with a special shout to Fred Ziffel, the man with the longest floss.  Gotta run…our college intern Eb's telling the Golf Foxtrot our last bus outta Hooterville is leaving soon n if we don't hurry we're gonna get the seat n to the toilet.


Anonymous said...

Genius, I was grinning the whole way through.

Anonymous said...

Excellent post! Home some take it to heart. Hopefully, work wear will be finished soon

Anonymous said...

"I just adore a penthouse view. Dahling, I love you, but give me Park Avenue!

Waddapost! Is that really you writing, Tintin?


M.Lane said...


Anonymous said...

Twink bit slayed me.

Unclelooney said...

Fred is pressed to the marrow.