18 January 2013

Stewardesses

United Airlines uniform in 1968

BEA's classic uniforms from 1960


Japan Airlines uniforms by Mohei Ito from 1958


Alitalia crew uniforms in the 1990s by Giorgio Armani


Germany's budget airline LTU  uniforms - From L-R, 1968, 1969 and 1970


SAS uniforms designed by Mark McNairy in 1999


Braniff "Babes," as they were known, model Pucci uniforms in 1966


Olympic Airlines uniforms designed by Yannia Tseklenis in 1971


Southwestern Airlines boots and hot pants in 1973


BOAC stewardess in 'Suzy Wong' style dress - 1966


Janet Jackson of American Airlines tests public reaction to a miniskirted uniform in 1965

Back when I was married there were a number of my wife's friends from D.C. who couldn't make it to our wedding. A few, I had never met, so we'd get together for dinner, usually in Old Town Alexandria, where we had a favorite Chinese place on King Street.  One of my wife's friends was a stewardess for American Airlines.

Even though we were seated at a table, I couldn't help but notice how tall my wife's friend was, at least six feet.  Without any makeup she was utterly striking.  Light brown hair, high cheek bones... I don't think it's an exagerration to say she resembled Marisa Berenson in Barry Lyndon.  And like Berenson, she had an exceptional body. 

I was trying not to look at her, less I stare in front of my new bride, and found distraction by slathering plum sauce on a Moo Shoo pork pancake.  Head down and focused on my plate, she and my wife discussed her recent illness and inability, the stewardess thought, to shake a cold due to a confined L-1011  aircraft and the huge number of passengers who were sick with colds.

My wife asked if she had seen a doctor as I greedily brought the Moo Shoo filled pancake to my mouth, took a bite and chewed while focusing my attention on my Tsingtao label.  "I really don't like seeing my doctor," she said.  My wife asked why not.  She said every time she saw her doctor he would have her disrobe and run in place for about a minute, after which, he would take her pulse.

I stopped chewing, slowly looked up from my beer label and saw the stewardess shift uncomfortably in her chair.  My wife placed a hand on hers and asked, or confirmed, that the running was done naked.  The stewardess nodded and added it was part of the exam - according to her doctor.  I asked how old her doctor was.  She wasn't sure but thought he looked a lot like Ben Franklin.  I asked what the doctor did while she was running in place.  She said he did nothing -- He just sat in front of her and watched.

It seems everyone in NYC has a cold or the flu.  I'm not sure I can run in place for a minute.  These days, I get winded rolling over in bed.  Still, as old Ben would say, "an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure."

24 comments:

Makaga said...

Oh, my, oh my indeed. What a wild story.

KSB said...

Tintin,

Not to be overly pedantic but perhaps the flight attendant worked for Delta or TWA because AA never flew the L-1011.

tintin said...

KSB - I was wondering about that. I remember, although this was 25 yrs ago, distinctly she was AA. So, I guess it wasn't an L-1011 but I was FF flyer of TWA and it was my favorite a/c.

Oyster Guy said...

It is almost as if you contrived to post a story that depressed me today on every possible angle or level. The only bright spot was the L-1011, I really enjoyed flying on those...

Oyster Guy said...

Oh great, it wasn't even an L-1011 after all...:(

tintin said...

Oyster Guy- I've often wondered if were weren't separated at birth.

KSB said...

Tintin,

An old joke - a rather perky TWA stewardess asks a businessman in first class if he wanted some of her TWA coffee. Without missing a beat the businessman replied No but he would like some of her TWA tea.

tintin said...

KSB- Where's the rim-shot?

Main Line Sportsman said...

At the height of that stew's anecdote..(and the height of that girl)...it is amazing you did not pass bits of pork,cabbage and Chinese beer through both nostrils.

tintin said...

Main Line- That would've been a waste of good Moo Shoo and beer. I don't waste Moo Shoo and beer. I did obliterate a heavily patinated Orvis bag by putting take away in it. Szechuan green beans left a very large grease spot.

Anonymous said...

Best story yet! I picture George Costanza trying desperately to focus veeeerrrry intensely on his beer and Moo Shoo. "Where IS that waiter?"

-DB

Main Line Sportsman said...

You could probably get $175.00 for that bag on Ebay right now. Have you seen some of the crazy numbers for Orvis luggage and such on that site?

tintin said...

DB- I am George Costanza.

Main Line- No, but I'll take a look. I have loads of Orvis luggage. So much that I don't treat it like it was the 2nd coming like some, 'South o 'da Mouths' I know.

-=Doug said...

Wow, Tin. This is one of your very best... not only were the women young and hot but (even better) "yield management" was almost unheard of... meaning I could book a red eye from SFO - JFK on TWA and be g'teed a mid-aisle bed on which to get 4-6 hours of actual REM sleep, arriving refreshed for check in to a park view room and breakfast at the Parker-Meridien and a Sunday of NYC whatever before a week of sales calls. And ... Pan Am, well let's no even go there for now because they stayed "sexist" right up to the end. God bless 'em!!

Farrago said...

"A naked stewardess running around in the doctor's office is sign that God wants us to be happy."

~ Ben Franklin

tintin said...

Doug- Great memories. Were you in the moment? Did you savor every bit of it?

Farrago- If this story ever makes it into a book, I'm stealing your comment for a chapter title.

Yankee-Whisky-Papa said...

I know that physician she described. His name is Dr. Genius. He also invented the "touch your elbows behind your back to check for scoliosis" exam for women. Helluva doctor.

Smitty said...

Bring on the stews baby, yeah. I could picture Austin Powers putting the moves on the bevy of beauties above! He put the GAH In swinGAH! As for me, I think I've lost my mojo.

Enzo AGC said...

Mcnairy Unis? Really?

Trailer Trad said...

Those photos do the impossible. They make flying look fun! Great story too.

Mr. Sidetable said...

I knew I shoulda gone to medical school.

tintin said...

Just checking to see if anyone actually reads this as opposed to only looking at the pictures.

Rose said...

Hilarious AND salacious - all the reasons we read your articles!

Julia said...

Incredibly funny story, but you know what? I feel bad for the girl! I hope she developed some chops somewhere along the line. Peace to you wherever you may be, oh gullible stewardess.