The Echo X-Ray (EX) installed an 88 bottle wine fridge in our kitchen for my 43rd birthday. It's not everyday a man gets a built in kitchen appliance for his birthday. I think it had something to do with the Victoria's Secret negligee I gave her on her birthday.
It looked empty and pathetic with less than 40 bottles and so I was going broke trying to keep it full when a buddy told me about Costco's wine deals -- most under ten bucks. I bought a couple mixed cases only to return a few weeks later and find the cheap stuff I liked was, according to the articulate young salesman, "Du-huuude, long gone."
I don't like being called, 'Dude' or, Du-huuuude... I don't like people who call other people, 'Dude.' Especially when it's shouted and turned into two syllables, 'DU-HUDE!' Most annoying because it almost always prefaces the greeting. Me, I'm more a, 'Man' kinda guy. 'Man' almost always comes at the end of a sentence. 'Good seeing you. Don't be a stranger, man.' And it's never turned into two syllables. How can it be? 'Man' is uttered softly, almost like a Canadian, 'Eh.'
You with me, man?
I went back to Cotsco, this time with a corkscrew and a glass, and bought another mixed case from the Dude. I carried the wine out to my car, put the case on the passenger seat, got behind the wheel and started my tasting. Using the parking lot as a giant spit bucket, I went through the case in less than half an hour, strolled back in the Cotsco and ordered a couple cases of what made my parking lot tasting. The Dude looked at me oddly...probably my purple teeth.
Good job.......man!
ReplyDeleteJeff Bridges is the only person worthy of being called "Dude."
ReplyDeleteI used to do the same thing at Trader Joes, years back. I find the wines at Costco better, much better. btw, I call everyone Dude (just one syllable). No disrespect but Dude works for me, in a colloquial sense. In a business world sense (for me) it is ALWAYS Sir, or Ma'am. A friend of mine started me on my one-way-trip-hell with "Dude". Dude was good, Bitches, not so much. No gender was inferred or implied. He was his own boss of MANY many folks, so it worked for him. I don't use the female dog applied version, least not to folks faces. Thank you Sir.
ReplyDeleteDude has its place. Mostly as a question or expression of displeasure with your idiot friends. As in "Dude?" said with furrowed brow when your buddy stumbles into Costco twisted after failing to spit out the "tasted" wine from the last two bottles.
ReplyDeletenow if we you want to complain about words lets tear into "chap". My lips get chapped in the cold, I am not a chap... Ahm an Uh-mrrican!
Practical slumming . . I approve.
ReplyDeleteDuuude, this is a sweet story.
ReplyDelete(and, I apologize, because I definitely have used the D-word in your presence before. It's a California thing; I can't shake it.)
Where does "bro" or better yet, "brah" fit into the array?
ReplyDeleterandall... Bro is never appropriate.
ReplyDeletesincerely,
Brohamm-as
Policeman: "Step out of the car please son."
ReplyDeleteTin:"But officer, I was only swirling and spitting...just tasting the wine."
Policeman:" Son, you think I have never seen a drunk puke out of a car before? Now, get out of the vehicle please."
Potentially: Greatest. Post. Ever.
ReplyDeleteMy husband and his friends call each other Cap. "Hey, Cap." "What's going on Cap?" or the general greeting, "Cap!"
ReplyDelete