Contradian London: Shoe Porn & Touching Myself

Ten years ago, John Carnera of George Cleverley gave me a tour and an hour of his shop's time knowing full well I couldn't afford his shoes. It was obvious John was proud of his shop, it's history and that they were still making a shoe in London and not India like so many in Northampt... Never mind. Lets keep it positive today.

I have a pair of Cleverely designed side gusseted shoes from Poulsen and Skone. Hands down the most comfortable and attractive shoes I've ever owned save those Monk Chukkas by French Shriner in 9th grade. For me, the Cleverley last is far more attractive than the stubby John Lobb and lighter as well.

John shows me a book of GC archival images. I suggest they publish something for poor guys. Like me, in love with the company but too poor to foot the tab. I call it shoe porn. John, having never heard the expression before, laughs and shakes his head. He hands me this catalog (click images to enlarge), "Well, here's some shoe porn for you." I thank John and ask if he has a loo. He tells me it's not for the public. I tell John what I have to do isn't public either.

I love myself
I want you to love me
When I'm feelin' down
I want you above me
I search myself
I want you to find me
I forget myself
I want you to remind me

I don't want anybody else
When I think about you
I touch myself
I don't want anybody else
Oh no, oh no, oh no

You're the one who makes me come running
You're the sun who makes me shine
When you're around I'm always laughing
I want to make you mine
I close my eyes
And see you before me
Think I would die
If you were to ignore me
A fool could see
Just how much I adore you
I get down on my knees
I'd do anything for you

I don't want anybody else
When I think about you
I touch myself
I don't want anybody else
Oh no, oh no, oh no

I love myself
I want you to love me
When I'm feelin' down
I want you above me
I search myself
I want you to find me
I forget myself
I want you to remind me

I don't want anybody else
When I think about you
I touch myself
I don't want anybody else
Oh no, oh no, oh no

I want you
I don't want anybody else
And when I think about you
I touch myself
Ooh, oooh, oo-oooh, aaaaaah

I don't want anybody else
When I think about you
I touch myself
I don't want anybody else
When I think about you I touch myself
I touch myself, I touch myself, I touch myself,
I touch myself, I touch myself, I touch myself,
I touch myself, I honestly do, I touch myself...
Christina Amphlett & Divinyls (1991)

Can I get myself in trouble if I touch myself without protection?