Spam & Skeeters

Spams Guys

Before Mosquitoes


After mosquitoes

I've always enjoyed descriptions of minutiae in damn near everything. From a history of manners in America in the early 17th century ( C. Dallett Hemphill's dense but amazing, Bowing to Necessities) to Thomas Wolfe's three page description of meeting Esther Jack on a NYC street in The Web and the Rock.

Consequently, I've tried to share details in stories that are interesting and, if possible, a little out of the box. Recently, I've been bombarded with spam like this:

Знакомства, общение, развлечения, секс, любовь, серьезные отношения и даже брак - все это вы найдете на нашем сайте интим знакомств. С помощью нашего сайта знакомств посетители могут создавать личные странички, которые позволяют максимально описать увлечения, привычки, характер и, конечно, внешность владельца, поскольку кроме текстового описания и фотографий пользователи могут добавлять аудио и даже видео материалы о себе и своих друзьях. Искать свою половинку с помощью шести видов поиска стало еще легче! У нас на сайте вы найдете: секс знакомства, свинг знакомства, свинг фото, свинг видео.

I once stood directly in front of two Russians in a custom's line as they conversed non-stop for almost two hours. It's not a romantic language and neither is that comment. This trickle of spam has turned into an onslaught not unlike the time I pulled my trousers down in a jungle.

On the advice of friend and quartermaster, Sgt. Macejko, I purchased, at my own expense, Cutter mosquito repellent. Macejko told me Army issue repellent - jungle juice as it was known - was useless in Panama, just pissed the mosquitoes off, and was only good for starting fires. But Cutter would do the job. Macejko advised frequent application of Cutter on exposed skin as well as clothing.

Today, the smell of Cutter flashes me back to a Panama of black palm, albino scorpions and mysterious trails of ants with pieces of leaves on their backs going God knows where. After a couple of days I was actually thinking there might not be any mosquitoes -- Until the night nature called and I went for a squat in the jungle. It's hard to describe the sensation of hundreds of mosquitoes attacking your butt - - except to say I didn't look for reading material.

I just wish there were a repellent like Cutter for spam. Until then, word verification is back on while I fight a new war with the Russians. Eezveeneete.