09 November 2011

C Rations & Latrines



No chunky - only smooth

C ration peanut butter was a smooth and flavorful spread that was often used in spoofing new soldiers. We called them Cherry's in the Airborne. SOP was a Cherry would be assigned to clean latrine toilets. Once finished, his attention would be diverted while a small amount of peanut butter would be placed surreptitiously on the bottom of one of his toilets. The tiny 'British Tan' pile would contrast nicely against the stark white porcelain.

At inspection, the young Cherry stood proudly by his row. An inspector would walk past upon review, stop at a toilet, point to it and ask the Cherry, "What in the hell is that?" The Cherry would come over and seeing the pile shake his head in disbelief. "I don't know, sergeant?"

The sergeant would peer down into the toilet, "It looks like shit." Reaching in, he'd take the peanut butter between thumb and middle finger and bring it to his nose, "It smells like shit." A startled Cherry would stare in horror as the sergeant would insert the peanut butter in his mouth and in lip smacking insouciance proclaim, "It tastes like shit." A shame Tommy Hilfiger missed out on all this.

11 comments:

  1. "Here it is. What? It's not so bad."

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  2. Where do you think they got the idea?

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  3. country club pool > army latrine

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  4. Classic. Something very similar was done to my father and his pledge brothers on Hell Night, only they were the ones who eat the peanut butter.

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  5. Did you guys do the cannonball thing with the Almaden and wiffle ball joint?

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  6. Awesome... we did a similar trick with cooked ground beef and a washed dog-food can. I like yours better.

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  7. You left out the punchline "Good thing nobody stepped in it".

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  8. In the Swedish army (I did a one year stint as a conscripted officer) we usually do the old "change finger routine" when inspecting the urinals.

    you drag one one finger against the urinal, you change finger a put it in the mouth, to the horror of the recruit. For some reason we used to say "Way to salty, private". Never really understand the salt part...

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  9. Dallas- Try not to be so verbose.

    Enzo- I was involved with an insurance program for frats years ago. I could tell you stories...

    GSV- It was Thai Stick with white Mateus in my barracks.

    YWP- I'd like to suggest using vegetable soup for vomit which usually results in paratroopers fighting over the big pieces.

    BigDaddyMan- You would have fit well in my barracks.

    Anon-
    Because you guys eat a lot of Herring?

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  10. haha true..

    But we prefer "sursrömming" - eng: fermented herring.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Surstr%C3%B6mming

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  11. Swedish Anon-
    I've got to find that stuff. Looks wonderful.

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