Dear Mr. Lauren

Mr. Ralph Lauren
650 Madison Avenue,
New York, NY 10022

Dear Mr Lauren:

I know we've had our differences in the past. But I want you to know that I think you're the best greatest designer in the World. If not the Universe. You are a great man and my hero. I want to repay you for turning you into the Department of Defense and offer you these designs I created for another high end fashion designer.

I would have gone to you first because, as I said, you're the best, but look at it this way, I did most of the stealing here so you don't have to.

Up first is a cotton sweater perfect for walking on the beach in the Hamptons. I lived there so I should know. Although, there was only one Hampton when I lived there. Maybe they changed the name of Newport News to Hampton so it sounds better. I don't know.

This was my cool idea that kicked it all off. The British people call this a Brolly and while I don't know why, I think it sounds cool. Just like you, I think most British things are cool. It would make a nice golf umbrella for Purple Label. Or, you can call it, "Green, Red, Yellow and Black Label."

This is a broadcloth shirt guys can wear untucked because, as you know too well, untucked is cool. The pant is a white cotton chino and I'm illustrating how I would do the back trouser pockets. Actually, that's how Julian's in Chapel Hill does back pockets but as I mentioned...I'll do the stealing for you.

I added a description here in my own writing. I think my hand writing is designer-ish. Is that a word? It is now. Ha- Ha. I have many more but thought this small sample would wet your appetite. These are just for you and they're free. Go ahead. Take them. And you can even steal my, "Green, Red, Yellow and Black Label" idea. All you have to do is hire me.

I have lots of ideas. And fashion magazines from many years ago. Some of them are from Europe so nobody alive or in America has ever seen them. Wink - Wink. I can start right away. We would, of course, have to work out some sort of agreement. I'm open to a salary but do require the following:

Clothing Allowance: Anna Wintour gets $200,000 a year. I could get by on just $50,000. That's 'cause I'd buy most of your clothes at my favorite Polo outlet in Orlando. You're like - just giving away Purple Label down there.

Company Discount: What is it? 50%, 70% or 90%? And can I get a bigger discount on my own line? I'd like to do that umbrella in patched sail nylon and hoo - baby, that's gonna be some big bucks. I really should be able to get one free.

Lunch: Do you pay for lunch or do I have to bring it?

Transportation: Again, I mention Anna here because she gets a Mercedes S class and I'm willing to settle for a Lincoln Town car. I think it's much more American - don't you?

Fit Model: Can I have one of those girls from the Rugby ads? I already have my own form that I would use for designing men's stuff but one of those Rugby girls would be really cool for my inspiration.

Well, that's the important stuff out of the way. I'm not so big on the Medical and the 401k stuff. Besides, if you pick up lunch I should be able to save tons of money. I know I threw a lot at you but give it some thought and feel free to call me day or night. Ralph Lauren Rules! (RLR! Another cool logo?)

The Trad