Umbrella from Brooks Brothers circa 2000That umbrella wasn't made in 1818 but it could have been. Who would have guessed - after 4,000 years - we would still be walking around with cloth on sticks to keep from getting wet. You'd think there be an iPhone app or something that would emit an electronic field around the body shedding off rain and snow. Don't get me wrong...I'd still carry an umbrella anyway but I wonder why some things advance and other things do not.
If we have the technology to send a piece of paper (usually an invoice) to the other side of the world...in a second...without postage...then why don't we have jet packs?
You know those Quaker Oat's commercials with guys flying jet packs to work? There's a big leap of faith in those things. I'm not talking the 'flying' part... I'm talking the, 'to work' part. I know for damned sure I'd spend every moment of every day flying and it sure as hell wouldn't be to work. I'd fly over forests, lakes, canyons, my mother's house...the list goes on. And if I could hover? Man...what's to keep me from outdoor concerts, drive in movies and hanging between the blimp and the Arthur Ashe stadium.
I'm sure there's a jet pack out there for the masses but the government...those guys that keep our nose to the grind stone every day...they know if we get so much as a taste of a jet pack--we're history. Better to keep us in the dark and under umbrellas.
I hooked into your blog about a month ago and am a big fan. Spent most of the work day yesterday catching up on back posts. This most recent entry couldn't help but make me smile (for reasons in addition to your jet pack theory).
ReplyDeleteOn the crowded subway ride home, I had to allocate two hands to four tasks: briefcase, periodical, something (not someone) to hold on to, and, given the potentially foul weather yesterday in NYC, my old, long Brooks umbrella. I wondered not for the first time if I should jet-tison (get it?) the long but inconvenient umbrella for something smaller I could just stuff in my case when I didn't need it. You know, the old debate: convenience at the expense of convention.
Anyway, what made me smile was that I thought the issue of umbrellas would make for an interesting entry on your blog, and lo and behold here is one the very next day.
For the record, I think I'll stick with convention, even if that means fumbling around on the subway during rainy days. I will certainly stick with your blog.
well, despite the claims of fashion designers, other than some synthetic materials and price, clothes really haven't changed much in 1000+ years so why are you so surprised about umbrellas?
ReplyDeleteAs we become more of a 3rd world country (as does europe) expect 'progress' to recede. "Diverse' Politically correct nasa can't even put a man on the moon. The sr71 - developed around the time you were born, is still the fasted plane in the sky, and took far less time to develop and far less real $$ than say the f22.
Just look at South Africa that's the future. Doesn't look pretty, does it?
Head to the link to see Brian Regan's take on such things. (If you are pressed for time, the meat of the matter begins at 1:26)
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sBNr6BI2zm8&feature=PlayList&p=4C1F07BB4726900F&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=43
Southern columnist Lewis Grizzard once said you know you've reached middle age when you start using an umbrella. Great post and combining of objects, Tintin. Why not an app that shields rain via an electronic field! I love your thinking.
ReplyDeletePersonally, having given up on the jetpack years ago, I'm now waiting for the hover board from Back To The Future 2. But even that idea is already 20 years old, so...
But wait! It just occurred to me that if you married an umbrella to hover technology, would you get Mary Poppins? Hmm...
-DB
Tintin,
ReplyDeleteIf you want a completely functional great quality umbrella, get a Davek. You could almost put it in your coat pocket, it is so small. Not as dapper as your BB but much more compact. It's also totally cute and awesome! D
have you ever thought about gettting into steampunk>?
ReplyDeletewalking sticks and hats, why have they faded out,whatwhat?
ReplyDeleteAmericans, at least, still wipe their asses with dry toilet paper. Not very hygienic.
ReplyDeletebumpershoot
ReplyDeleteOx Ac Uk- Hey, many thanks for the comment and the compliment. I was on the subway yesterday morning holding onto the Foxtrot it was so crowded. I can't stand those crappy $5 black umbrellas with their crappy plastic handles. I've had to use them like everybody else but they're so depressing.
ReplyDeleteanon 07:39 - I'm not surprised about umbrellas - - I just find it odd what moves forward and what doesn't. I also think diverse populations have won out more times than any 'master race.' Just look at Berlin in '45.
Forget the iPhone apps, give me an umbrella any day. Not surprisingly, your cool umbrella will outlast all of the "iGadgets" out there. Just as cell phone cameras make a sound to mimic a camera shutter, a futuristic "umbrella" force-field of sorts would probably have a sound function to mimic the sound of rain hitting an umbrella...
ReplyDeleteanon 8:01- I think Chris Rock said it best: "If they can put a man on the moon - - Why can't they make a Cadillac bumper that won't rust."
ReplyDeleteDB- A world full of Hovering Mary Poppins...Actually, that sounds like something I was offered on Hay Street once.
D- If you're gonna use 'cute' and 'awesome' I refuse to buy anything you suggest. Whad'ya get your husband for his Bday?
anon 10:56 - Oh, I've been waiting for this moment. 'Victorian Dance Hall?'
what what- Walking sticks perhaps but not hats. Not by a long shot, what?
anon 15:41 I've given that area some thought as well and years ago after my first curry in London...in the middle of the night...I invented butt sized chap stick.
anon 16:14- Brolly.
Heavy- I think I've had that brolly since 1999. They usually last me a year max before I lose them or they blow out but this one is built like a T-55 and it follows me home.
ReplyDeleteLes Petits were just bemoaning the lack of jet packs yesterday. They can't think what's taking so long.
ReplyDeleteC'mon now, remember how umbrellas were forbidden for males in the Army? I am angered by New Yorkers with giant golf umrellas in a drizzle. My eye has been nearly gouged out several times. We aren't entitled to this much personal space in dry weather! A good rain hat/baseball cap (that lives in your case) with the Burb trench has always been adequate protection form the elements. The shellies sometimes get some spots, but the non-delicate credo of trad garb should overcome!
ReplyDeleteTintin,
ReplyDeleteI thought" totally cute and awesome" would be my moniker but I'm already sick to death of it myself. Do you like unicorns and rainbows better? All kidding aside, the Davek is a kick ass umbrella. As for the old man's bday, so far, a new dopp kit for when he travels. You know, for bidness. D P.s. Would you PLEASE double tap Victorian Dance Hall.
Tessa- I'm with them.
ReplyDeleteW Essex- I have a waxed cotton hat that looks just like Trad Dad's tiger stripe boonie hat from Vietnam. Perfect in the rain.
D- Double Tap? You're old man an 115V?
Tintin,
ReplyDeleteHe was a 96D with other special qualifications. He had an "interesting" military career. D
Whoops. I meant 11Bravo5D. Of which I know only one. Sounds like a Huachuca guy. They're always interesting.
ReplyDeletecame for the friday post... but this is pure dead brilliant as they say in Glasgow.
ReplyDeleteTenton....I've lost my Briggs umbrella....tragic. I can't afford to replace it. It was the one I nicked from a Cab in London....silk canopy. Gone.
ReplyDeleteJust caught over at Longwang's that you referred to me as AIG. That's low man. Real low.
RE: ANON. I think it's "bumbershoot," not "bumpershoot." Correct me if I'm wrong.
ReplyDeleteRE: Military carrying umbrellas. U.S. military don't when in uniform. Brits do, but they do lots of eccentric things.
Nor do U.S. military in uniform carry so many packages that they can't offer or return a salute. (Bad Form, don'tcha know.)